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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26968207">""In My Youth I Courted War""</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstloki/pseuds/worstloki'>worstloki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arrogant Thor, Asgard (Marvel), Asgard sucks, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), I don't hate Thor, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Non-Evil Loki (Marvel), Post-Avengers (2012), The Avengers (2012) - Freeform, Thor is a hypocrite, he just... isn't the best sometimes, loki wasn't evil in avengers 1, this fic is mostly thor loki and nick fury but the avengers are here too okay, thor criticism, thor's mind is a bag of cats</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:33:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,693</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26968207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstloki/pseuds/worstloki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that time in Avengers 1 when Thor said "in my youth I courted war" but the last time he started a war that we literally saw on-screen was... one year ago??</p><p>Yeah, this is about that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki &amp; Avengers Team, Loki &amp; Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>354</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>""In My Youth I Courted War""</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based off and originally posted as a part of <a href="https://worstloki.tumblr.com/post/630496868987748352/i-know-its-been-pointed-out-numerous-times"> This Post </a></p><p>As infallible as I am, I occasionally make errors, so feel free to point any out.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thor sighs. “When I first came to earth, Loki’s rage followed me here, and your people paid the price.”</p><p>He shifts his bare arms to ensure Nick Fury has a clearer view of the muscular muscles he chooses to so humbly display. His mouth opens again. </p><p>“In my youth, I courted war.”</p><p>The Director looks from Thor to a screen displaying Loki subtly smiling in the glass cell. He looks from the live feed showing Loki sitting formally dressed in his glass cage to Thor standing in front of him grinning stupidly with nothing but a breastplate on. He looks from Thor’s naïvely open expression over to the Loki’s now straight face. He looks from Loki on the screen to Thor. He looks from Thor to Loki.</p><p><em>Thor speaks as if war is a game he should be proud of participating in</em>, Fury looks back to the man in the glass cage, <em>meanwhile his lunatic brother is treating it as anything but</em>. </p><p>“War isn’t here yet.” Fury reminds Thor. </p><p>Thor’s face drops and Director Fury scrutinises that in slight concern, recalling recounts of the New Mexico incident last year and Phil’s official report on the events that transpired.</p><p>“How old do you Asgardian aliens get, anyways?” he says, because watching Thor flex his arms in silence is awkward. </p><p>“The average Asgardian lives to just over 5000.″</p><p>“And where do you happen to fall on that scale, Mr. Odinson”</p><p>“I am around fifteen hundred,” he proudly booms. Yes, <em>booms</em>. Apparently Asgard doesn’t teach kids about inside voices.</p><p>Then again, Loki had shown he could lower his voice if he wanted, so perhaps the booming was just a Thor thing.</p><p>“Would I be right in assuming Loki is a few years younger?” Fury asks, because he’s no math whiz but hearing that Thor is only a fifth way through the average lifespan would mean he’s barely an adult.</p><p>In fact, with the average human lifespan being at 80, Thor would be the equivalent of 25. Even if Loki was 10 years younger than Thor it would make him the same age, which would make the two of them prime examples of Asgardian physiology if there was time to take samples and analyse their strength levels later.</p><p>Not that Fury would authorise that.</p><p>But if he would, it would be just to know what they might be up against in the future. </p><p>“Indeed, Loki is just over four centuries younger than me,” Thor answers. </p><p><em>Just</em>, he says, and Fury finds himself holding back a scowl. Wait. that is <em>400 years</em> younger.</p><p>That’s a larger age gap than he expected. That would make Loki less than 20 years old if Asgardians age anything like humans. </p><p>The guy who wiped out a SHIELD base and is sitting in isolation being all smug about it is a <em>teenager</em>. </p><p>Well <em>$#!^</em>. </p><p>Fury recalls the New Mexico debacle and suddenly starts to question what age Thor would define as his ‘youth’.</p><p>He also questions what kind of place Asgard is since Thor speaks as if he has been fighting battles since he was a literal kid, and as this was <em>Thor</em> in front of him, he couldn’t say that was very surprising: Nick had seen the footage. Thor <em>enjoys</em> violence. In fact, if it were up to him, Thor would’ve been a side-lined consultant for the Avengers instead of an active member.</p><p>Unfortunately, Thor had turned up to this party himself, and Fury wasn’t going to be the one to tell the 300kg wall of solid muscle that he wasn’t invited. </p><p>“So,” Fury starts, because this is going to be vital information which will either secure or destroy the chances of Thor officially joining their rag-tag crew of Avengers, “when exactly was the last time you courted war, besides right now, of course…”</p><p>Grinning in a nostalgic way he answers: “Last year.”</p><p>Fury takes a deep breath and figures that if New Mexico is what Thor defines as a war, then perhaps Thor is actually normal and has an intact mental health state. If property damage and no deaths is what Thor considers a war then Fury would happily give the alien a tick on the cognitive stability section of his Avenger suitability report.</p><p>Fury was weighing his options out when Thor decided to continue speaking. Fury thinks that maybe if the darn alien didn’t need to speak in loud booming Shakespearean, with the awkward dramatic pauses included, he would get information across faster.</p><p>“Just before my banishment, I counted nearly <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DaHMXdnbhIZI&amp;t=M2JkOTZlM2ExNDg0NzZhYTU4ZmExMGMwMmM0YjVlZWM0YTk4Mzk5NCxjc25KTUpRaw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AliDlqfvYqp9b3OAa5QOq2Q&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fworstloki.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F624620463728001024%2Fi-know-its-been-pointed-out-numerous-times&amp;m=1&amp;ts=1601280086">130 </a>kills on my name, but it was okay because I had a noble cause for it. My actions that day would have ignited a war had Loki not ended it before it physically began, but it was a glorious and won battle.” Thor wipes away a single tear, “I admit I was troubled in my youth with the burdens of arrogance and anger, but I see that now, and have changed my ways.”</p><p>Right. </p><p>So Thor’s definition of “youth” was… <em>last year</em>. Fury had no other choice: unless Thor could provide solid proof that he was no longer arrogant or quick to anger, a cross on his Avengers application was seeming more and more likely.</p><p>Fury sees motion on the screen and looks at Loki in it to see his shoulders shaking. It is clear he is laughing, even if the audio of the scene has been cut off.</p><p>He motions with his hands, and what Fury picks up of the ASL is that Loki is asking him to ask Thor <em>why</em> he almost started a war. (Either that or Loki was asking Fury to <em>shake</em> Thor. The camera was perhaps not angled the best for Fury to be seeing and recalling the few sign language gestures Clint had taught him).</p><p>Fury didn’t know how Loki could hear their conversation, or why he knew ASL, or that the message would get to him, but as long as he remained in the damned cell that was fine with him. A bit unsettling that every conversation on the helicarrier might just be tuned in with Channel Loki, but Fury doubts anyone would be able to do anything about that. </p><p>“Any reason you killed twenty dozen individuals and sparked a war?” Fury realises it comes out accusatorily and adds, “what noble cause would we need to avoid to prevent a rehash of that here on Earth?”</p><p>“They had violated a peace treaty through an attack of their own!” Thor boomed.</p><p>The booming was starting to irritate him.</p><p>Fury catches Loki making the sign for ‘lies’, no longer laughing, but smiling, as if it was amusing that Thor had started a war. <em>What a troubled individual</em>, Fury thinks, turning his attention from Loki back to Thor.</p><p>“And while you’re answering that, I’d like a kill count for <em>Loki</em> on that day too… I’d like to know what we’re up against when facing your brother and his little ‘army’.”</p><p>Thor shakes his head, clearly lying when he denies any other reason for starting a war. </p><p>“—and as for Loki, he has always been a pacifist, and would’ve had perhaps 3 kills that day. Well, he <em>was</em> a pacifist, until he attacked Jotunheim, and now Midgard. My faith in him is dwindling as of late and I fear I find it harder to believe there is good in him any longer.”</p><p>After Thor’s revelation of killing nearly 150 people in <em>a bout</em> last year, Loki’s total current kill count of <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dl1p5MMIoBWo&amp;t=MDU3MmU0ZmVkMjRlMmU1NTY4YjYwNDNmZmU3MjI5Zjg4MjQ3YmIyMixjc25KTUpRaw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AliDlqfvYqp9b3OAa5QOq2Q&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fworstloki.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F624620463728001024%2Fi-know-its-been-pointed-out-numerous-times&amp;m=1&amp;ts=1601280086">7 </a>suddenly doesn’t even concern Fury. That building was well on its way to collapsing anyways. Fury looks at the camera feed in time to catch Loki signing the word “princess” and “insult” before his small smile breaks into a grin, and he starts laughing again.</p><p>Loki is enjoying this too much for Fury’s liking. Fury thinks about closing the screen but that would be unwise since he doesn’t know how the alien is spying on their conversation.  </p><p>“You didn’t offend the people’s princess or something, did you? Because that would be an extremely foolish reason to begin a war…”</p><p>Fury takes the reddening of Thor’s ears as a ‘yes’, until the man answers with “…actually, it was <em>I </em>who they dared to slander by calling a princess.”</p><p>It is clear that Thor does not regret <em>that</em> being the reason to start a fight, or even begin a war. It is clear from the suddenly booming <em>and</em> stony voice that he would not hesitate to start another fight if such circumstances were to occur again. The red ears were, apparently, either because he is embarrassed to admit he was called a princess, or anger at recalling that time he was slandered, and not because of his out-of-proportion reaction. </p><p>“Well, we’ll try to ensure no one here does that, but if they do, I suggest refraining from starting a another war. Your younger—” much younger, Fury thinks, as he realises Loki would be approximately 17 and Thor 24 “—well, you already know your younger brother has got the war part covered.”</p><p>Thor laughs, as if the notion of Loki being associated with violence is a joke, as if, despite having proven himself easily capable of thrashing Captain America in a 1v1, the idea of him and fighting, let alone in a <em>war</em> is a ridiculous enough thought to laugh at. </p><p>Thor’s laughter booms too. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>After what would officially come to be known as <em>The Battle of New York </em>is over, Loki is cuffed and is being kept in a holding cell, while the newly dubbed <em>Avengers</em> go out for a celebratory meal.</p><p>Fury walks in to see the criminal, and <em>perhaps</em> he was intending to gauge the prisoner’s behaviour to assess the safety of obtaining some Asgardian alien body samples, but you can’t prove that.</p><p>Fury glances at the hammer placed on Loki’s boots, but knows better than to let his scepticism at the idea that it would actually be able to hold him down show on his face. </p><p>“Did he really start an inter-realm war last year because someone called him a princess?” Fury asks, not really expecting an answer and not sure what he would have done if he had received one.</p><p>Loki nods, his eyes glinting with mirth visible on the half of his face not obscured by the muzzle. Oh, right. The muzzle.</p><p>The muzzle that Thor had pulled out and slapped on Loki for… talking. Fury appreciated the silence that had followed that, but still found it strange that Thor had brought a gag with him after claiming Loki had been dead the past year.</p><p>It’s not something one would typically grab when about to have a reunion with a dead family member.</p><p>Which brings Fury to question Asgard, Thor, and Loki, because either mouthguard silencers are things Asgard reserves for all prisoners (weird), Thor just carries one around (weirder), or Loki, a literal teenager, gets treated unfairly by both Asgard and Thor (weirdest).</p><p>Whichever option it may be, Fury is learning a lot about Asgardian culture; knowledge that will be really useful in any future <em>incidents</em> where they may be invaded by someone bent on world domination.</p><p>Fury is taking in Loki’s body language; calm and relaxed as he leans against the holding cell wall, when they make eye contact. That’s when Loki — and Fury would bet on him smiling under that muzzle — winks at him.</p><p>He <em>winks</em> at Fury. </p><p>Fury turns around and walks away.</p><p>His official reason for declining permission to take blood and tissue samples is that the prisoner is too dangerous, and his recent actions indicate an unstable state of mind, and that means the enclosed cell they can’t budge him from — thanks to a heavy, energy-emitting hammer — is an unsafe environment. </p><p>Unofficially, he decided he would rather put resources into figuring out why Loki’s attitude had suddenly changed from erratic to submissive, then why Loki would wink at Fury with eyes that were so clearly green when all reports had confirmed them as blue, and after <em>that</em>, in putting together a new case file which has information about Loki when he isn’t being controlled by the sceptre or coming to earth under duress and after years of torture. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>The Avengers return from the shawarma joint down the road to find Loki uncuffed and unmuzzled, and the half of them with enough energy to bother jump into battle stances.</p><p>After observing him engaging in a very hand-wavy (Loki) and lively (if you can call Fury smiling lively; that’s right, he’s actually got a <em>smile </em>onhis face. Tony and Clint both find <em>that</em> the most shocking part of the scene in front of them) conversation with Fury for a solid minute, they walk over and demand answers, while eying Loki with suspicion.</p><p>Thor wonders how he got magic cuffs and the mouthpiece off, until his brain supplied, in the infinitely wise speech of Darcy Lewis, the words: ‘magic, <em>duh’</em>.<br/>
<br/>
Hill hands out copies of Loki’s new folder to all of them. Except Thor. To Thor she hands his own folder. It contains a few pictures and 2 pages of basic information about him, and a Recruitment Assessment form on it. </p><p>“Recruitment assessment for Avenger Initiative.” Thor reads, “Thor? Yes.”</p><p>Thor understands that ‘<em>The Avengers’</em> is the title this group of shield-brothers-and-sister have been dubbed. He feels honoured to be included and so easily accepted and says so.</p><p>“Read on.” Fury tells him, trying very hard not to let the fact that Thor’s <em>booming voice</em> and sense of superiority is bothering him. </p><p>“Thor Odinson. Not… ‘Not Recommended’?! This does not make any sense!”</p><p>Loki pretends to try hiding a scoff that sounds a lot like ‘read the personality overview’.</p><p>Thor does as the poorly concealed scoff instructs.</p><p>“I <em>still</em> do not understand!”</p><p>“Compulsive behaviour and impulsive tendencies, Thor."<br/>
<br/>
“That was last year, and I have grown!”</p><p>Fury doesn’t tell Thor that his file has not included any of the events from more than a year ago or any of his behaviour which occured off-world and they didn’t observe firsthand themselves.<br/>
<br/>
"Indoctrinated sadism and bloodthirst.”</p><p>“Do we not all enjoy destroying our enemies? I have witnessed Stark bantering during battle!”</p><p>"Anger issues and superiority complex.”</p><p>“I agree that those are traits of <em>my youth</em>, but the rejection still does not make any sense! My youth has nothing to do with being able to engage in battle as a team! The might of my hammer and thunder are unquestionable!”</p><p>Fury refrains from pressing the sides of his head where Thor’s booming voice has started giving him a headache.</p><p>The Director glances over to the rest of the Avengers and finds their faces in various states of enrapturement and shock (or, in Natasha’s case, just the slightest signs of confusion).</p><p>Tony is already getting teary eyed and Fury reckons it’s because he’s a faster reader and just reached the part of the report about the Bifrost breaking.</p><p>Perhaps he should not have let Loki write the report.</p><p>He’d only approved of a personal account over an objective recount because he thought it would take some convincing to get them to believe mind control was involved. </p><p>However, Loki seems to have a very strong way with words, and if Fury had known that he wouldn’t have let him write up his own recount report, because #$*%<em>,</em> now no one is going to want to enforce the precautionary measures he had wanted them to place over him.</p><p>Despite having a 3 line limit to establish his entire life’s dynamic before Thor’s failed coronation, the voice of the text is profound enough for the reader to gain an immediate understanding of what Asgardian culture was like and what kind of mindset he himself had; and it does <em>not</em> look good for Asgard, no matter how well he tries to portray the realm, and how many assurances he makes that it wasn’t all bad and he was content with his life and how he actually feels bad about complaining about it and about how he has many good memories of the place and his ‘family’ which was there.</p><p>Fury will just have to get Coulson to filter through it later (when he tells him that it made Captain America pull out a star-spangled handkerchief to dab at his eyes, he'll undoubtedly accept such a perilous and tear-stricken mission where no one else would) and make it more solid facts and less Emily Dickinson imagery-loving literary-major final-project hand-in like before digitalising the official report, because <em>darn it</em> <em>not even one person has made it through Loki’s folder without shedding tears!</em></p><p>The #$*%ing power of words even has Natasha genuinely tearing up now. Loki reduced the #$*%ing <em>Black Widow</em> to tears, probably with that one line which compares ‘being accepted for oneself and not what can be offered up in sacrifice as payment for existing as an individual with even a drop of worth’ to the idea of ‘successfully tending a barren garden in a land fated for failure’. </p><p>Personally, Fury made it to the part about ‘sacrificing any agency and choosing to surrender choice itself to the universe’ being compared to ‘cutting the winding cord of faith only to be left free but bloodied in silence’ without properly having any tears fall. Not that it’s a competition. Or that he’d ever admit to that.</p><p>He thinks Loki <em>suspects,</em> but just does not feel like it’s worth bringing up, but only specifically <em>at this moment</em>. If only there was a fraction of culpability he could assign Loki for his actions, maybe he wouldn’t have warmed up to the guy so much.</p><p>As it stands, Earth actually owes <em>him</em>.</p><p>Fury turns his attention from the Avengers back to Thor, who is still staring at his Recruitment Form with a dumbfounded expression and muttering what are no doubt denials.</p><p>Fury is just relieved to find out that Thor’s voice has more than 2 volumes (booming and louder booming — now with under-his-breath booming (or as humans call it: regular talking volume)).</p><p>Loki walks over to Thor and tries to comfort him. Key word: <em>tries</em>. The younger brother seems to be having trouble kindly dealing with a Thor that suddenly isn’t waving the hammer around and speaking <em>boom</em>edly. </p><p>“I— I don’t understand, those were traits of my youth. I have moved on!”</p><p>“It’s okay, Thor, what is important is that you are doing your best to change—”</p><p>“You are not one to lecture me on change, Brother. We finished defeating you but mere hours ago!”</p><p>“I fail to see why that does not make me an ideal example.”</p><p>“You sought to reign with an iron fist and with nothing but devastation at your feet and pride festering in your heart and mind! You brought nothing but chaos to this realm until hours ago when we, The Avengers, defeated you, and now you seek to twist our victory in your own favour through having words with Son of Fury!”</p><p>“Ah, yes, I recall that battle of which you speak, but you see, Thor, I have changed and grown past blind ambition. I look back now and see that I could be rather destructive in <em>my</em> <em>youth. </em>I have moved on from earlier today.”</p><p>“You do not speak or proven to act as if you have! And one does not simply change so easily as that! Not when you—” Thor stops mid-sentence upon realising the relation to his own past behaviour, and sputters, before his jaw drops.</p><p>Loki stares at Thor’s open mouth and gobsmacked expression with a raised eyebrow for an entire minute before pulling a StarkPhone out of his pocket and taking a picture, before speaking again, his voice clearly expressing how unimpressed he is by Thor.</p><p>“And you shouldn’t claim affiliation with a group that has made clear to you that you are not a welcome member of. Your forms clearly say you are <em>not</em> on the full-time team but will be sought if your expertise is required. You are not an official Avenger.”</p><p>“I <em>AM</em> AN AVENGER!” Thor booms. Fury is not amused.</p><p>Yeah, there was <em>no way</em> Fury was going to approve a second, smaller, louder, and generally downgraded version of a rage monster on a team that is meant to be a stable pillar of support, protection, and comfort for the people of earth. Thor will be placed as a consultant member who can be called in for emergencies, similarly to what Stark used to be, regardless of whatever crazy system of royalty ‘Asgard’ has in place. </p><p>Fury also generally refuses to have a hammered #$*%wad on his team, especially if Thor is the alien planet’s ideal standard, and Asgardian values are anything like he’s abductively coming to realise.</p><p>Someone who is against unnecessary violence and has scientific knowledge advanced enough to be outright labelled as magic, though? Someone who managed to control a situation where his own mind was compromised? Someone who was willing to take the fall for his actions even after creating a solution which resulted in minimal destruction and deaths despite experiencing absences of personal autonomy? Someone with centuries worth of experience de-escalating situations and enough patience and sense to follow and contribute to a plan or battle strategy? </p><p>Now, <em>that</em> would be someone Fury could see on the team. He could see them as someone who would be fully approved and pass every requirement with flying colours. The entire initiation process could even take as little as an hour if Fury had any personal interest invested in the matter. </p><p>Fury turns from Thor’s incoherent mumbling back to the Avengers, still reading through the report on Loki’s background. He can’t wait till all of them get to the last page in the report.</p><p>Normally, all certifications are placed at the top of the folder, but it appears as though Loki, as inexperienced an agent as he is, may have gotten the order wrong and misplaced his fully approved Avengers Initiative Recruitment Assessment. </p><p>Normally, even such an inane mistake would result in a suspension warning. Fury will let the insubordination slide, though, just this once, because Thor’s face upon hearing the news is priceless.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people do that.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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